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Lately, life has felt busier than normal. With the election results on the minds of the country, day-to-day life has felt more complicated. Personally, my calendar has been jammed and when people ask how I’m doing, I’ve been finding myself saying, “I’m busy, but good-busy.” I am not fully sure what that means, but it’s a phrase that takes the sting off of the unsustainable levels of exhaustion I have also been noticing. Week after week, I find myself bringing up this busyness with my therapist in my sessions. Shout out to my therapist who lovingly and sternly likes to ask me, “What is keeping you so busy?” This might sound like an invitation to list out everything on my calendar, but what I have come to understand that question to actually mean is, “What is driving this constant experience of being so busy and what would happen if things slowly started looking different? What would you say in response to people asking how you are if your immediate answer wasn’t always that you’re busy?” So, in response, I have constructed an acronym, NEWS, as a step-by-step way of thinking through busyness - and yes, I see the irony that even in thinking about how to be less busy, I have occupied myself with creating a tool! NEWS stands for:
Notice
Exercise mindfulness
Would instead of should
Slow and sustainable (*Disclaimer* I do not have the answers nor do I always practice what I preach. But here are some musings from the past month as I reflect on my busy calendar, the levels of exhaustion I am known to experience, and what I am considering doing differently, one step at a time.) Notice. Identify what is keeping you busy. Of course, there are lots of responsibilities that come with being a functioning member of society. But what about the time that you choose to keep full? What would happen if you made more space to be still? Does free and open space on your calendar scare you? Does it feel like a reflection on you if your schedule has blank space? Exercise mindfulness. Observe what comes up for you when you do have open space physically and emotionally. Do you jump to fill it? Where does your mind wander to? What happens in your body when you willfully sit still? Do you sense yourself feeling guilty, lazy, or anxious? What messages about yourself feel true in these moments? Ground yourself in the moment to be open to what your body is telling you and, with curiosity, create space to wonder about why you are doing what you’re doing. Would instead of should. Consider how you would or would not spend your time if it wasn’t always full. Are there commitments you might opt out of? Often times, I find myself saying yes to activities or tasks that exceed my capacity because I feel like I should. Anyone else find themselves doing this or just me? How often are you telling yourself you “should” be doing something even if you’re tired or you don’t have capacity for it? Let’s start shifting the focus to identifying what you would do if you could, naming what feels joyful for you, and taking small steps to pursue that. Slow and sustainable. Slowly implement a more sustainable rhythm and balance that allows room for rest as well as space to be still, bored, reflective, and peaceful. Every single micro and macro step towards slowing down and “doing less, better” counts. Sweeping changes are rarely effective and don’t usually last. And what works for one person may not work for another - we all have different capacities and bandwidths. For example, slowing down sustainably could mean saying yes to fewer social activities, not taking on additional responsibilities where it is not required, or adding a 10-minute window of time before bed or after waking up to breathe and regulate your nervous system.
As I reflect on how I can better incorporate NEWS into how I think about my own schedule, I feel humbled by the privilege it is to choose how I want my life to look. I am confident that small steps towards “doing less, better” will reduce anxiety and busyness over time. It will not happen immediately, but I feel hopeful about that for you as well. It is never too late to increase reflection and make changes to honor this one, precious life we have been given. Mountain clarity: Nature is not in a rush nor can it be rushed. It moves at the pace of intention. It moves at the pace of necessity and beauty and natural cycles. The clouds in the photo above were not drifting through the air to arrive at a destination quickly. Rather, they moved as the wind carried them. This concept makes me wonder what it could look like in moments of stillness to notice and be carried by what feels authentic to you rather than feeling the need to keep up. To move along. To take the next steps in life even if it doesn’t feel right to you. Maybe there’s even time to sit on a bench and watch the clouds. Taking time to pause and reflect can create the space you need to connect with yourself, God, and the natural world around you. Who knows, the act of ceasing productivity could be transformational. Journaling prompts for reflection: Where did you learn to stay busy? How was busyness defined in your family? Does that definition resonate with you or do you want to form a new concept? What is the difference between busyness and fruitfulness to you? Do they operate at different speeds? At which speed do you prefer to spend your time? If you were operating out of a space of would instead of should, do you feel like your life speed would change? Do you notice things taking time away from you that you could step away from without much consequence? Examples could be social media, alcohol consumption, procrastinating, saying yes to more than you have capacity for, etc.
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