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I have a feeling we can all agree that life is really hard sometimes. Some moments and seasons are harder than others, but wow, life can really keep you down if you let it. There is so much uncertainty in the world and trust me, I understand how easy it can feel to get swept up in despair and hopelessness. If you have ever felt that way, you are not alone. As a means of combating the crushing feelings that life can evoke, I have started adapting a mentality of planting “lighthouses” for myself during really difficult seasons. Conventionally, the functions of lighthouses are to be navigational aids, warning signs of danger ahead, and as entrance markers into safe harbors. They serve as bright light leading travelers through unknown waters. A reminder that the challenging journey they are on would soon be met with safety. Hope is on the horizon. For me, these lighthouses are planned adventures, mini events, and daily commitments I have with myself to look forward to somewhere in the short, medium, or long-term future. They are beacons of hope in the midst of darkness. And their purpose is to be a tool to propel me forward through time and space when sheer willpower doesn’t feel like enough. Personal examples include: Scheduling phone calls with family members who are uplifting Planning travel to near and far destinations Adding exercise as a daily self-care practice Taking short daily walks where I allow myself to notice my surroundings Scheduling a coffee date with a close friend who feels safe and loving Taking time off work for a staycation to enjoy the stillness within my own context
To clarify, planting lighthouses does not mean not being present with myself and my feelings in the moment, but having a source of hope for what is to come can be the reminder I need that my circumstances will not last forever. While there may be physical, emotional, and mental ailments that are never fully healed, hope allows us to manage pain and hardship by continuing to put one foot in front of the other. I am grateful for lighthouses as grounding reminders. Hope for the future does not diminish pain in the present. Rather, it can be leveraged as a tool to move you forward. Hope lends itself to wanting something different or better for yourself. Often, through therapy, this looks like reconnecting with wounded parts of yourself to reveal a more healed version of you through insight and introspection. The name of my practice, Made New Counseling, was founded out of this concept. Renewal is possible and it takes a really long time. Part of being hopeful is finding ways to master the art form of patience. It seems like the future can be right around the corner at times and eons away at others. Hope is what bridges the gap as we wait to see what the future holds. You may be wondering, “What does it mean if I don’t feel hopeful for the future because the world is really broken and I don’t anticipate it healing any time soon?“ That is a completely valid and understandable curiosity. I am not here to tell you how to think or feel. We all have our reasons for engaging or disengaging from hope as a concept and an action. If anything, regardless of where you’re falling on that spectrum today, I would invite you to pause and reflect on your stance and if it feels beneficial for you. Is there anything that feels scary about hoping for the future? Have “lighthouses” ended up being disappointing? Hoping in anything comes with risk. Risk of disappointment. Unmet expectations. Fear of having hope again after being hurt by circumstances you could not have predicted. But let’s try to remember that some good things come with risk because they often expose vulnerability. Part of hoping is acknowledging that life isn’t solely in your control and you are choosing to proceed anyways. Being hopeful for what is to come is an act of bravery. In the midst of a chaotic and broken world, may you find the courage to hope in something today. Maybe this could look like planting a lighthouse of your own to start the practice of imagining a future in a way that evokes peace rather than unsettledness. Mountain clarity: Often on hikes or long walks, I find something in the distance to push towards. This could be anything from a telephone pole to a bush, but the idea is that I have markers on the trail to help me know I am getting closer to my destination. In the same way, lighthouse events or things to look forward to can be reminders to you that you are moving through this wild life. Hoping in something is valuable no matter the size of it - what matters is the consistency you find to keep pushing slowly and surely on. Every single step counts. Journaling prompts for reflection: Can you think of some lighthouses for yourself? What are things that evoke hope for the future? If you cannot think of any, would you like to start implementing this practice into your life? Is there a small lighthouse you could practice with? Have you ever tried to be hopeful and felt like it backfired because the outcome was different than what you expected? What was that like for you? Have you ever experienced renewal of any kind? Looking back, how did that experience make you feel about the future? Can you imagine more healing and growth taking place inside of yourself again? What tends to promote change for you? Do you notice a difference in yourself when you allow hope to be present in your heart and mind? Have you noticed anything coming up for you over the past three months that you would like to continue reflecting on? If so, what is the method in which you will continue to ponder and process? How has it felt to be more connected to your thoughts and feelings?
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