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As helpful and healing as it can be to look to our past for clarity and closure, I find it is of equal value to feel grounded in the present moment. There are so many theories and methodologies available to teach the “best” way to stay connected to oneself. In an effort to consolidate some of the information available, I would like to take this newsletter to share about how I am able to stay physically, mentally, and emotionally present - gratitude. Take from this what you need, and if there is an additional layer of nuance you would like to add to make this concept more applicable to you, I would love to hear your take. Sometimes, it can be difficult for me to sit down and write. Or take advantage of a moment of stillness during an unscheduled block in my day. Or fully hear the heavy silence of birds chirping and leaves crunching under my feet while on a hike disconnected from the sounds of the city. It feels easier to be consumed by the never-ending stream of thoughts coursing through my mind at any given moment. I am so used to it at this point. I chronically struggle with being fully present in the experience right in front of me. Do you ever notice your own thoughts moving so quickly or to-do lists piling so high that slowing down to notice and simply exist feel like the least viable options? If yes, you’re definitely not alone. Having a full and noisy mind is often a learned behavior. Our society reinforces it daily. When our minds are moving from task to task and unable to slow down, that can be an outcome of many internal and external influences. Some of the most common reasons I hear about and experience myself are to create distance between yourself and unprocessed trauma, anxiety, depression, fear, and facing hard truths about yourself or others. Dealing with difficult emotions can be as unpleasant as getting medical procedures done and deeply dysregulating. And being busy is a good thing, right? Who doesn’t want to feel like a productive member of society? The economy runs better when people are consumed by the work they need to do, the parenting they need to stay diligent to, the money that needs to be made…right?! (I feel stress in my body even writing all of that out lol). Yes, we need to work and productivity is a good thing. But my point here is that being at the level of busyness that leads to burnout can be very disconnecting from deeper, more emotional parts of ourselves. The parts that have needs. Perhaps the parts of ourselves that were not fully attuned to when we were growing up. The parts of us that can get buried and suffocated under the weight of “adulting”. This is where gratitude and mindfulness comes into play. One of the times in life that I can be fully present is when my survival depends on it. When I am hiking, I need to be aware of what is going on in my body so I can determine if I need to rest, get water, or turn around and head back to the car. I need to focus on the trail itself to be mindful of rocks, roots, or any hurdle I may encounter that could be dangerous if not observed and attended to. I need to be mindful of weather changes, keeping my eyes open for wildlife, and staying clear of poisenous plants. And I have the opportunity to slow down to the pace of 3 mph or less so that I can notice my surroundings and feel grateful for the physical ability to be outside and for the beauty surrounding me. Connection with the body. Awareness of immediate circumstances. Connection with self and something greater than self. In a nutshell, this is how I would define gratitude. Being thankful for what is right in front of you. For your capacity to do really hard things, simple things, and everything in between. Grateful to be able to move or to be still. Grateful for noise and quiet. Grateful to feel small when standing next to nature that has existed for centuries before your time and will continue to be there for centuries after. Grateful for laughter, good food, safe shelter, clean water. I would like to invite you to take a moment to quiet your heart and mind. In the next 60 seconds, would you close your eyes and slowly start listing some things that you are grateful for? Set a timer for yourself. If your mind wanders, notice what it wanders to, and bring it back to gratitude. Be slow, calm, and gentle with yourself. What do you notice? Did those 60 seconds feel long or quick? Do you feel a little more connected with yourself? Considering what you are grateful for throughout the day may assist in prolonging feelings of peace and maintain your focus in the present. If you are anything like me, in a world that is pulling your attention in every possible direction, having a brief and effective tool is something to return to regularly. Next month, we will conclude this series by considering how to take what we have learned and noticed the past two months and bring it into the future with hope and curiosity. For today, let us be aware of our surroundings and ground ourselves in the present moment, expressing gratitude for what has been, what is, and what is yet to be. May this gratitude feel nurturing and kind to our younger selves and remind us that in this moment, we can be safe within ourselves. Mountain clarity: Even on the most basic trail, if you allow yourself to wander off the trail because you got distracted, it could quickly become an issue - anything as benign as walking into scratchy weeds or as dangerous as stepping off a ledge. Staying present allows you to see, feel, and experience the hidden gems of life like seeing a waterfall through thick trees (like in the second picture above). Nature is there to be seen and experienced, but when we rush, we miss the beauty right in front of us. This is also true for our family, friends, communities, and ourselves - when we rush and are disconnected from the present, we could miss the most beautiful, small moments. At that point, is all the productivity and busyness really even worth it? Journaling prompts for reflection: After reading the first installment of this series, what did you notice yourself feeling about your past self? What are some things that would need to change in your life to increase time and capacity to slow down enough to notice what you are grateful for? When you express gratitude, do you notice a difference in your body and mind? What are those differences? How do they impact your perspective and energy levels? Is there anyone in your life who you would like to express gratitude to or for? Is there anything that prevents you from stating gratitude when you feel it? Was thankfulness encouraged in your home growing up? How was it expressed and received? What are some ways that you could create more space to slow down and notice what you’re grateful for as you go through your daily life? How do you imagine it could help you?
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