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Exhausted. Burned out. Grateful. Overwhelmed. Tired. Grieved. Little blessings. Steps forward, steps back. Confused. Unsure. Needing more. Needing less. Challenging. Adjusting. Processing. Not okay. Feeling a little better today. Choosing to see beauty through the ashes. Ready to rebuild. These are words and phrases I have been hearing lately from family, friends, clients, the community at large, and myself. I am always so grateful for the willingness of others to share the vulnerability and authenticity of their hearts. The truth is, there is often so much more under the surface than when we say, “Yeah, I’m doing okay.” Sometimes, finding the words to articulate your genuine emotional experience may be harder than expected. Let’s think about that together. For me, 2025 did not start out in the way I expected. I was hoping for more peace, more space for quiet, more opportunities for organic connections. And yet, life has its own plans and things are turning out very differently. In the midst of challenges across the board, there has also been beauty and renewal. My niece, Naomi, was born in January. I have been pushed and strecthed out of my comfort zone in numerous ways resulting in loosening my grip on areas of life I was being too rigid with. New, local relationships have been emerging in unplanned ways. All of this juxtaposition of growth and loss have left me aware of the complexity in my emotional world and how hard it can sometimes be to put words to all that is swirling around inside of me. Have you ever experienced that? This concept has me thinking: how can we actually connect with and share what is going on internally in a world that is moving so fast all of the time? Are there ways to slow down and find our words so that others can better understand what we are feeling and share burdens and joys with us? When we are in task mode, trying to be efficient and productive more often than not, it can be really challenging to switch gears into a more emotional space. This often results in not having time or space to process your feelings…the thing is though, our emotions always come out. They just manifest in less manageable ways (stomach pain, headaches, anger outbursts, panic attacks, inflammation, shutting down, etc). So even though it may seem time-consuming, or like an activity without an immediate return, allowing yourself space to sit with your feelings and put words to them alleviates that internal, ticking time bomb and provides context for yourself, and others, if you choose to share. All of this has felt especially relevant to me in these past few months as so much life has been happening quickly. I have needed support and have been able to hold space for others going through their own challenges. In the midst of it all, it has become clear that without communicating my needs and being able to hear the needs of others, relationships would not be able to survive in a healthy way. Having insight into the depth of another’s emotional experience is one of the most profound ways of connecting with other humans. It starts with connecting to yourself and practicing finding your words. Mountain clarity: After my husband returns from backpacking trips with his brothers, I always ask him what they talked about while on the trail for dozens of miles over the course of a weekend. During the day, they talk about the “here and now” - everything related to meeting their basic needs. But once they make it to camp and are winding down for the night, they can spend more time discussing deeper topics and enjoying quality time together. I see the unique similarities between outside adventures and our day-to-day lives. When we are immersed in the demands of life, we need to stay focused on fulfilling responsibilities and managing what has been given to us. However, there does come a point when slowing down and going deeper provides a different type of value on a more personal level. Whether it is on an adventure or at the end of a long day, be intentional about making space for you to shift your perspective from surviving to connecting. Journaling prompts for reflection: It is much more difficult to find your words and share with others if you are not connected to yourself. Use a journal as a way to begin this connection. It doesn’t have to be long or detailed at first, but try to use your writing as a means of bringing more language to how you feel on the inside. It may be as small as writing out, “Today was hard.” The next day may start out the same, but you can practice writing, “Today was hard because…”. Day by day, practice expanding your thoughts and feelings within yourself. Notice how that impacts the ways in which you interact with those you feel safe with in your life. What would you need in order to feel comfortable putting words to your feelings and sharing with others? Is there anything you would be afraid of happening? How was vulnerability and sharing received in your home when you were growing up? How do you feel after you share? What do you notice in your body? What do you notice in your heart? Do you sense a difference in your connection with the person you shared with? Are you more of an internal or external processor? Do you notice that you have different processing styles depending on what it is you are working through? For example, if I am navigating an issue related to business, it is helpful to talk it out and think through the issue with someone else. However, I prefer to process deeper emotions internally before I share them with others so that I feel connected to myself first.
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